justsquareboxes, sleepy, tarie

conflict vs. confliction

First of all, I should say that this might be more of a semantic question rather than a linguistic one. So I just got into a really long debate with a friend of mine over the use of the word "confliction" as a noun. Much of my argument centered around the fact that, while confliction is technically a word, it is obsolete, and unnecessary when the word "conflict" works perfectly well. His argument has, at this point, less to do with the grammatical sense of the word and more to do with its stylistic use or the "feel" of it. I'm pretty sure I'm right, but it's hard for me to articulate because I've mostly studied French grammar rather than English grammar and my understanding of the English language is more intuitive than anything. Does anyone have any thoughts on the matter?
justsquareboxes, sleepy, tarie

what i'd do

give up all forms of intoxication
convert to catholicism
wrestle an angry drunk scotsman
take a vow of chastity
eat pig testicles
quit smoking everything
crawl through broken glass sprinkled with salt
shave my head and get a tattoo of elmer fudd on my scalp
drink out of tempe town lake
take a vow of silence
drop out of school
wear a burka to school every day
change my facebook status to "has syphilis. for real."
eat only garbanzo beans and bologna for a year
slam my hand in a car door
shoot up meth
shun someone
jump off the swings from as high as i can go
move to the deep south
throw my computer off a cliff
walk everywhere
donate all my money to the republican party


if only any of it made a difference
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justsquareboxes, sleepy, tarie

(no subject)

I keep having these nightmares. They are too too real for my liking. Also I keep having these lucid dreams where I can't move or run away or touch things or speak, and then I realize I'm asleep and still can't do anything.


Also I thought being home would be better but so far it sucks.
justsquareboxes, sleepy, tarie

(no subject)

how does one know it's over when there's not a fat lady hanging around to sing at the opportune moment? that's what I want to know.
where's my fat lady? when's it going to be over? in the even that one doesn't show up, do you just say fuck it and put on a CD of Puccini?

on the bright side, my anxiety has all but vanished in the last couple months. no idea why. can't decide if depression is better or worse. i think i mentioned this before - would you rather be terrified that the glass will be half empty, or calmly certain that it will be? i think i prefer the latter. reality is easier to forget about than possibility.

done with school. grades should be all right. not that it makes much difference.
See? this too is freeing. when the one big glass is half (or completely) empty, all the other glasses seem kind of tiny and insignificant in comparison. which makes it much easier to discard them if they're full of piss. I'm doing a terrible job with analogies etc., forgive me. it's 5am.
justsquareboxes, sleepy, tarie

I am twenty-one.

Things I remember from my birthday
- going to Rula Bula at midnight, where half of the people had just escaped from a wedding (including the bride and groom). Had a vodka tonic and a vodka cranberry.
- going to Big Bang to see dueling pianos play songs that everybody knows the words to. Had a long island and a tom collins, both were delicious. Kelly drew me pretty pictures on the napkins but then someone spilled my drink and they were casualties of the clean-up effort.
- getting serenaded whilst sitting atop one of the pianos (this was difficult in the dress I was wearing), followed by dancing onstage with other drunk girls to Shout. Nick has pictures.
- trying to get more maraschino cherries from the bar while they were trying to get everyone out. Nick claims it was at least a half hour after last call.

Things I don't remember from my birthday
- being driven home
- smoking
- getting mexican food from Texano's, also having a heated argument about the pronunciation of the word.
- any other conversation that took place after 2am
- drinking water
- having a pale stomach contest with Kelly and Lauren. Actually, I don't even remember Lauren coming over.


So yeah. Woke up this morning at 9 (probably still drunk), and drank a shit ton of water, slept for 3 more hours and was almost entirely hangover-free. I didn't even feel sick, just kind of tired. The rest of the day was pretty non-eventful. But I had a wonderful time and am glad beyond glad that now I'm not forbidden from going places and buying things because of my age. It's a good feeling.
justsquareboxes, sleepy, tarie

(no subject)

Well.
I was sort of feeling better.
And then Blake had to go and fuck it up. Unintentionally, but still. I just can't even hear the name anymore.

This summer is going to be a godsend.
justsquareboxes, sleepy, tarie

(no subject)

My birthday's coming up.

waves flag

It'll be nice to only worry about blowing a .08 instead of a .001.
And it'll be nice to get into bars and clubs and order drinks whenever.
But other than that, I'm not terribly excited.

I think that I shall smoke some more and watch adult swim until I pass out. Valley of the Dolls is entertaining, but even cheesy moralistic 70s movies full of musical numbers can be too real for me. Ironically, I have very little problem with reality shows.
justsquareboxes, sleepy, tarie

twirl the wheel

animal collective + delicious tea + vapealiciousness chez C. = win. these things help.
as does vyvanse.
why is it that it takes the consumption of pharmaceutical meth and chemical-filled smoke to achieve the barest approximation of equilibrium? It's like I'm balancing on a beam over an abyss and different things are constantly making it smaller and wider. I've gotten it wide enough to relax at the moment, but I can't stretch out comfortably.
animal collective definitely helps.

I went to the grocery store and picked out a bunch of things that remind me of home/my family. I might even call them later. It's good to have someone that I love and haven't hurt too badly.

New earrings. They're little plastic deer with strawberries on chains. handmade by this canadian chick at etsy.com - hotroddesigns. I loves them.




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